Shikamaru's Troublesome Deer
by AquaSkye16
Summary: R&R. Temari gives Shikamaru a deer as a present...whom he hates. What twisted relationship grows between these two? Complete.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

_**Shikamaru's Troublesome Deer**_

It was a frosty Christmas morning, and it was snowing outside the Nara house. To be more exact, it was also snowing in the Nara house. Shikamaru looked up at the hole in the roof and yelled, "TROUBLESOME SANTA! DAD, THE BIG FAT TROUBLESOME GUY IN THE RED SUIT LEFT A HOLE IN THE ROOF AGAIN AND MORE COAL!"

"Did he?" Shikaku looked up at the roof. "I guess he did. Better call the construction workers. I paid them in advance this year."

"Troublesome construction workers." Shikamaru kicked his coal.

"Oh. A new rug, too. I told Santa I didn't want coal this year, but I guess he gave it to us again. We can't even use it—the chimney and the fireplace are gone."

"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?! A BIG, FAT TROUBLESOME GUY SQUEEZED HIMSELF THROUGH THE CHIMNEY!"

"SHIKA-KUN!"

"Troublesome woman!"

"Shika-kun!" Temari hugged him. "Guess what! I just arrived today! And I brought you a present!" she led a big deer over to him. "I got you a deer!"

"WAIT A TROUBLESOME MINUTE!" Shikamaru stared with wide eyes

"WHY WOULD I WANT A TROUBLESOME DEER?! MY FAMILY OWNS ENOUGH TROUBLESOME DEER!"

"But, Shika-kun! This is YOUR troublesome deer!" Temari's voice became slow and dangerous. "And this is a troublesome deer from ME. You will take this deer and you will love this deer. Don't be sad if he gores you since I've ridden him all the way here after taking him from his foresty home."

"I—FINE, TROUBLESOME WOMAN!" Shikamaru took the deer. The deer nosed him. Shikamaru stood there. The deer bit him.

"OW!"

"HE LIKES YOU, SHIKA-KUN!" Temari cried.

"OH, YAY!" Shikamaru cried sarcastically.

"Good to see you take an interest in the family business, son!" Shikaku patted him on the back. "Your mother and I are going to go and drink beer until we get drunk and get in jail and you have to come bail us out again! Bye, son!"

"NO TROUBLESOME WAY!"

"That's all right! I'll stay with you, Shika-kun!" Temari hugged Shikamaru tightly.

"LET GO OF ME TROUBLESOME WOMAN!"

CHOMP!

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Oh, SHIKA-KUN! WAIT FOR ME!" Temari ran after Shikamaru, who was holding his bottom and running out the door in his deer pajamas into the freezing cold. The deer followed, with a satisfied look.

"Shikamaru?" Ino and Chouji, snacking on bags of Santa-shaped cookies walked up. She was holding a small red package. "WAIT! I NEED TO GIVE YOU YOUR PRESENT!" she ran after him. Chouji spotted the deer instead.

"DEER! FOOD!" he ran after the deer.

"Shikamaru...?" Hinata and Naruto, walking hand in hand, looked at the Team Asuma plus weird Suna girl plus big stinky deer parade.

"What an idiot." Sasuke said dully. Sakura laughed out loud. Tenten and Neji looked strangely at Shikamaru. "I think Lee has taken a toll on him," Neji said. Tenten knodded.

When Shikamaru stopped, he was breathing hard. He almost stopped breathing. He flopped over on the ground, and then immediately jumped up. "TROUBLESOME SNOW!" the deer trotted up to him with a jacket.

"I—I AM TOUCHED, TROUBLESOME DEER!" Shikamaru's eyes became sparkly. He put the coat on and the he and the deer ran off, hoof in hand.

"GIVE ME BACK MY JACKET!" Ino cried, shivering.

"SHIKA-KUN!"

Chouji flopped over, gasping, and realized he had dropped his bags of food behind. He as too tired to go fetch them.

"You need a name, troublesome deer! I know! Your name is…" Shikamaru thought a moment. "TROUBLESOME DEER!" The deer clapped his hooves.

"Shikamaru?" Tenten and Neji walked up. "Are you alright?"

"WHY WOULDN"T I BE, TROUBLESOME HAIRSTYLE WOMAN? I HAVE A BEST FRIEND!" Shikamaru hugged the deer.

"Uh…" Tenten looked at him. "I…uh…Wh…wa…Sh…" she walked away, scratching her head.

"What did you do to Tenten?" Neji asked. He then leaned forward and sniffed. "Something smells funny…" he leaned forward and sniffed Troublesome Deer.

BOOM! Troublesome Deer kicked Neji with one of his hooves and sniffed.

"LET'S GO, TROUBLESOME DEER!"

The two happily ran off, leaving Neji bleeding on the grass.

"Can I have some of your hot chocolate, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura leaned over and sniffed it cutely.

"No."

"Why not?"

"You have cooties."

"I'm going to die of cold!"

"Go do that."

"You're so mean!"

"Thanks. Living to kill someone doesn't exactly make a person nice."

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!"

"You didn't have root beer last night for Christmas Eve, did you?"

"…maybe. I'll stop if you give me cocoa."

Sasuke sighed and handed her the cup. She drank it down in one gulp and then sat there. Then she stood up and started running around, her mouth spouting fire. Then her hair caught on fire.

"WAIT ONE MINUTE, SAKURA! FIREBALLS ARE MY THING!"

"LOOK AT THE MUNCHKINS DANCE, SHIKA-KUN!"

"LOOK AT THE MUNCHKINS DANCE, TROUBLESOME-KUN!"

TRAMPLE.

"YAY! LET'S GO, SHIKA-KUN!"

"YAY! LET'S GO, TROUBLESOME-KUN!"

"Naruto-kun? Do you want another one?" Hinata asked.

"Please, Hinata!"

"Well…okay. One more miso ramen, please?"

"Thanks, Hinata!"

"Here it is."

"Thanks!" Naruto began to dig in.

A few minutes earlier…

"You need to go to the bathroom, Troublesome? Er, let's go in here…hey look! A pot! You can go in there!"

"NARUTO-KUN?!"

"Time to cross the street, Troublesome Deer!" Shikamaru cried happily.

Sound of snorting.

"Where's Troublesome Woman? Huh. I guess we lost her. Let's go." Shikamaru began to cross the street.

In a car…more specifically, a stolen one…

"Sorry, Shika-kun! I have to do this! You weren't paying enough attention to me!" Temari started up the car. "How do I do this?"

HEADBUTT!

"AYAH! MY POSTERIOR!" Shikamaru cried loudly.

BAM! RUN OVER.

"MY LEXUS!" Tsunade cried.

"TROUBLESOME!" Shikamaru cried out.

Snort. Snort.

"HAHAHAHA!!!" Shikaku ran past, followed by some cops and holding the largest beer glass in the world.

"DAD! THIS IS A TROUBLESOME DRAMATIC MOMENT!" Shikamaru resumed his sobbing. Temari was still rolling down the road, and eventually crashed into a building, or better known as the Aburame household.

Shikamaru got up and wiped his tears away and began to drag Troublesome Deer home. "Troublesome. Oh well, venison for dinner again tonight."

Kiba popped up. "This incident left very few people alive, so I have to tell you what happened! Chouji died because he didn't eat anything for five minutes. Ino died of pneumonia. Tenten went to the fluffy yellow room in a straitjacket and was mentally ill. She was killed by her roommate, Orochimaru, who killed her because she kept saying, 'Huh? Huh? Shik…dee…huh?' Neji died because of blood loss. Sakura and Sasuke were trampled to death. Naruto died of food poisoning. After his death Hinata was stricken with grief and committed a very dramatic suicide. Temari was eaten by man-eating bugs. Tsunade died of grief at the loss of her Lexus. The man-eating bugs got out of control and ate the Aburame family. Then they tracked the Nara family down and ate them. I am currently running for my life. AH-WAIT! NO! I CAN'T DIE YET I HAVE TO FINISH THE STORY—NO!"


End file.
